Category Archives: sex

Ottawa is handing out free condoms

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Ottawa’s Public Health department is handing out free condoms, ostensibly to prevent sexually transmitted diseases:

Not using a condom is the top risk factor among individuals diagnosed with an STI: In 2010, nearly 75% of people diagnosed reported not using one. Condoms, when used correctly and consistently, are an effective method to prevent STIs and unplanned pregnancies.

There is a Condom Locator, an Order Form, Instructions for halfwits and a Resources  page which, strangely enough, concentrates on gay sex.

I was scratching my head as to why Ottawa rather than, say, Toronto or Montreal, has decided to spend taxpayer dollars on condoms. Then it occurred to me that the program will be in full swing in time for the Anglican Church of Canada Synod scheduled from July 3 to 7 in Ottawa.

The Toronto School Board and district sex shop

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The Toronto School Board seems to be so intent upon thrusting sex upon its students that it makes me wonder whether the entire GTA school system has been infiltrated by paedophiles. The latest furore is over a link the board has to a website given to describing, in graphic detail, what used to be considered aberrant sexual practices.

The actual page is here, the site it links to is positive.org, and the suggestions for teen recreational activities include having sex with vegetables. Not forgetting the tasteful employment of nipple clamps, buttplugs, pornography, cock rings, and vibrators, to mention but a few items of commonly owned paraphernalia of the average teen.

To be fair, positive.org gives a word of caution in all this: “If you’re putting something into a butthole, make sure it has a flared base and looks something like the picture. That way it can’t go all the way in and get stuck.” I bet you wish someone had told you that when you were 13; it could have saved an embarrassing trip to the Hospital Emergency Department.

In case buttplugs don’t pique your interest, there is always the prospect of a proposed “gay-centric” school – for those who remain unconvinced that existing Toronto schools are not already rabidly “gay-centric”.

And then there is the Oasis Alternative School Triangle Program  that offers “[a] program that features curriculum about our LGBTQ – lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans-identified, inter-sexed, two-spirited and questioning/sexual minority – literature, history, and lives. How better to prepare children for life in the real world?

For those who want to do all the above with multiple people simultaneously, there is the Toronto School Board’s definitive guide to polyamory.

As positive.org says “Sex is everywhere” – but the highest concentration can be found in the Toronto School Board.

Over-60s safe sex class cancelled over lack of interest

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From here:

The free session, called Generation Sex, was being run by Portsmouth City Council with the aim of encouraging older people to practise safer sex.

Organisers said participants would be able to have frank and honest discussions about the realities of sex for the older generation.

But the workshop, set to have been held on Wednesday, has been cancelled.

A council spokeswoman said: “Sorry to disappoint but the sex over-60s event has been cancelled due to lack of interest.”

[….]

The council said proof of age and Portsmouth residency would have been required by those attending.

The reason for this could be: those over 60 are not interested in sex; those over 60 are not interested in safety; those over 60 who don’t already know what safe sex is are no longer with us; or – and this is my bet – sexagenarians who don’t already know what safe sex is can’t produce a proof of age because they don’t know what that is either.

Man in UK is prohibited from having sex by High Court judge because he isn’t clever enough

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From here:

A man with an IQ of 48 has been ordered to stop having sex by a High Court judge.

Known only as Alan, the 41-year-old was in a relationship with a man he lived with and said he wanted it to continue.

However, his local council said his ‘vigorous sex drive’ was inappropriate so started legal proceedings to restrict the relationship.

The authority said that his moderate learning disability and IQ of just 48 – the average is 100 – meant he did not understand what he was doing.

One psychiatrist said that he would be confused if sex education was given to him.

A special convening of the Anglican Church of Canada’s House of Bishops was called to assess the personal implications of the judicial ruling were it to catch on in Canada. Bishop Michael Bird was visibly moved to tears and many bishops’ wives have privately expressed their support for an equivalent Canadian ruling.

UK: Making fun of people having sex in public is now a hate crime

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From here:

Police have been ordered to stop anyone taking in part in illegal outdoor sex being abused or verbally taunted as it can cause them to suffer post traumatic stress.

An extraordinary new Hate Crime Guidance Manual has been handed to officers telling them to arrest anyone suspected of committing a hate crime against those engaged in ‘dogging’.

I suppose that means we can only make fun of bishops as long as they are not having sex in public; that’s going to put a cramp in my style.

Sex.com for sale

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Malcolm Muggeridge noted that sex is the mysticism of materialism; things have degenerated considerably since he made that observation: we now have sex.com which is the mysticism of solipsism.

And it is for sale:

Sex.com, a popular domain name on the internet, will be auctioned off in New York this month after its owners defaulted on debt payments.

Boston-based Escom purchased the name in 2006 for a record $14 million US, but the name is not expected to fetch anywhere near that price when it goes on the auction block March 18.

Online bidding for the name starts at $1 million, according to the auction site David R. Maltz and Co. Inc., based in New York.

“We expect to have a very productive auction,” Scott Matthews, the lawyer handling the auction, told the New York Post.

Shooting out pebbles onto a metal target

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But I bet you’ll never guess from where:

One of the latest trends is “VUM-building,” which sounds like a doomed Soviet industrial project but is apparently a surefire way to get your man addicted to you. VUM stands for “Vaginally Used Muscles,” and a number of schools are offering courses in strengthening and toning the muscles using special equipment — a kind of gym for the vagina.

“Our exercise program can dramatically improve a woman’s sexual performance,” says Olga Nikitina, 40, the founder of the School for VUM-Building in central Moscow. “She can transform herself from a slow Russian car like a Lada into a Ferrari.” To disguise the fact that the equipment really does look like it belongs in a car-mechanic’s workshop — it’s all pressure gauges and rubber hoses — the school’s two rooms are painted pink and blue; stuffed animals model phallic devices.

“Once a woman reaches optimal fitness, she can shoot a fountain of water up out of her vagina in the bath,” boasts Nikitina, a ponytailed blonde in a leopard-print top. The core device is a small silicone balloon that is inserted in the vagina and inflated with a pneumatic pump. “You squeeze against the balloon and measure the pressure on the attached gauges,” says Nikitina. Fine-tuning can be achieved by learning to shoot out pebbles onto a metal target.

I was thinking of taking a trip to Russia this year: home of Tolstoy, Dostoevsky, Gogol and – flying pebbles. That’s the trouble with women these days: they don’t appreciate men for their minds; we have become mere play-things for over-exercised vaginas.

From Mr. Plod to Funboy Bobby

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There was a time when parodying the police was fairly easy:

No longer, though, since policemen now manage it all on their own:

Pc Malcolm Thomas, 40, used the name “funboybobby” to display a series of photographs on an adult dating site.

He described himself as “dominant” and some of the pictures showed him in uniform, carrying his 9mm Glock pistol.

The Metropolitan Police said he was immediately removed from the unit and an investigation was being carried out.

Pierre Trudeau in the Queer Hall of Fame

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From the Star:

‘Queer’ hall of fame inducts Pierre Trudeau.

VANCOUVER–Pierre Trudeau’s flamboyance and tendency to provoke debate often landed him in controversy and those traits have now landed him in the Queer Hall of Fame.

Trudeau is one of five inaugural inductees into the newly established hall, along with Olympic gold-medal swimmer Mark Tewksbury and three other long-time activists in the gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered community.

The former prime minister was a key figure in decriminalizing homosexuality and his famous partial quote – “there’s no place for the state in the bedrooms of the nation” – helped convince Parliament to pass the law in 1969.

For a liberal such as Trudeau, the bedroom was just about the only place where the state had no place: it intruded everywhere else. That has all changed: now you can’t keep the state out of the bedroom – particularly children’s bedrooms. We have diverse, inclusive, pornographic state sponsored sex indoctrination designed to convince the last people who need convincing – hormone-inflamed teenagers – that sex is enjoyable:

In her workshops, Jansen urges teens to ask about anything and everything, from masturbation, gender identity and same-sex feelings to sex toys (which they keep on hand in case the subject comes up), why people like oral sex, and why that particular act should go both ways. She encourages them to role play in order to learn how to broach difficult conversations. For instance, how do you raise the subject of condoms in the heat of the moment? And what do you do if a boy says he won’t wear one? To help illustrate the “pleasure centres” portion of the lesson, Jansen and her colleagues bring in visual aids from the store, including a plush pink vulva puppet. “People laugh. They can’t believe it,” she says. “But they don’t know what a vulva looks like. Adult women don’t know what a vulva looks like.” To describe the male anatomy, they bring a dildo. “We usually bring one that is silver-coloured and we say, ‘This is the head of the penis. This is the shaft. These are the sensitive parts.’ ”

Islamist horror killings

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I can’t bring myself to call them “honour killings”:

Almost as soon as news broke that the murders of three Afghan-Canadian teenage sisters and their father’s first wife in Kingston, Ont., were possible “honour killings,” some in the Muslim community reacted in the most predictable fashion: defensiveness and denial.

Instead of voicing outrage at the murders, two Muslim callers to my CFRB radio show in Toronto slammed me for raising the subject, and suggested I had some hidden agenda. “This has nothing to do with Islam,” said one caller, despite the fact no one on the show had, to that point, even mentioned the word “Islam,” let alone accused the religion of sanctioning honour killings.

The callers were not alone. The head of the Canadian branch of the Islamic Society of North America (ISNA) told the CBC more or less the same thing – that the story was unrelated to Islam, which apparently does not permit honour killings.

They are both right and wrong. It is true that Islam’s holy book, the Koran, does not sanction honour killings. But to deny the fact that many incidents of honour killings are conducted by Muslim fathers, sons and brothers, and that many victims are Muslim women, is to exercise intellectual dishonesty. At worst, it is an attempt to shut off debate.

It seems that when a religion goes off the rails it becomes obsessed with sex. In Islam’s case the obsession is that men are so sexually fragile that a glimpse of female flesh will lead to an unrestrained spontaneous orgasmic frenzy: that may indeed be true for the purveyors of this view – demented mullahs. For their sake women are supposed to wear tents over their heads. This means that when there is sexual activity between a Muslim woman and someone other than her owner-husband, it must be her fault and she deserves to die.

Similarly for another derailed religion, Western Anglicanism, everything revolves around sex; except in our case the emphasis is on the freedom to copulate with anything with a nominal body temperature of 37 degrees regardless of gender or species (it’s coming), provided the coupling is in some way committed.

h/t: A Reasonable Faith