Tag Archives: Marriage

Will the Anglican Church of Canada get out of the marriage business?

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The Anglican Church of Canada has been considering getting out of the marriage business and, instead, just “blessing” the state version of marriage.

An obvious reason for this is that the state has altered the meaning of marriage from the union of one man and one woman to the joining in a sexual, but otherwise indeterminate fashion, of men with men and women with women. The Anglican Church of Canada, applying its typical reverse-prophetic sycophancy, wants to go along with this, but has to overcome one minor hurdle: the Bible.

The answer to the problem is simple: stop marrying people altogether, just “bless” what has already been done.

From here:

A small group of bishops will lay the groundwork for a discussion of marriage within the life of the church at the November House of Bishops meeting in Niagara Falls.

The impetus for this discussion is a General Synod request to the faith, worship and ministry committee to consider the implications of having Anglican clergy cease to solemnize marriages.

It all makes perfect sense: by devaluing the idea of marriage, the church has rendered it meaningless, so why keep on doing it?

What’s more, there is a efficient replacement:

When Miguel Hanson and Diana Wesley get married today, they won’t stand before a gray haired minister holding a Bible.

Instead, they’ll be looking at a 30-inch monitor.

On one half of the screen, they’ll see a virtual minister with an animated, square face with blue eyes and thin, oval glasses.

His voice will be heard over a sound system while the text of what he’s saying will show up on the other half of the screen.

And the sermon would be shorter and make more sense.

The waning of the wedding

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Marriage is becoming less and less popular; unless you are a homosexual that is – an Anglican homosexual in particular –  and then you simply must get married, otherwise you would feel excluded. And exclusion is the only sin left in the Anglican church; other than telling a bishop he really must believe in the bodily resurrection of Christ, his virgin birth and atoning sacrifice on the cross in order to be a Christian. Oh – and trying to knock his hat off with a snowball.

From here:

The good ol’ tradition of marriage is not extinct, but the numbers certainly are dropping.

Moving up the relationship ranks is the very modern – and considerably cheaper – option of living together, sans the ‘I dos’.

“It’s the first time in Canada there are more unmarried people than married people,” explains Gemini-award winning documentary filmmaker Sue Ridout, producer and director of the new hour-long doc entitled, “Thoroughly Modern Marriage” (Dreamfilm Productions).

But, despite the popularity of common law and even the high rates of divorce, the institution is still likely to survive, Ridout believes.

After extensive research and interviews, spanning from a variety of couples, singles and experts, Ridout suspects future generations will still be booking cake testings, finding perfect dresses and exchanging vows.

“Personally, if I had to bet on it, I’d bet on the institution continuing,” she says.

“But I don’t think we’re going back to the high numbers. Common law is here to stay.”

According to Statistics Canada, in the past 25 years, common-law unions in Canada have more than tripled.

Nowadays, particularly in cultures where women have equal rights and earning power to their male counterparts, something other than economics and family standing is driving forward the desire to walk down the aisle…….

– In the past 25 years, common-law unions in Canada have more than tripled

– At 70%, Hanover, Manitoba has the largest percentage of married adults in Canada (20% higher than the national average)

– The lowest rates of marriage in Canada is Joliette, Quebec, at just 27%

– In less than a decade, mixed race couples have increased by 33%

Marriage as art

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Having redefined marriage to mean almost any human, animal or inanimate object union in any combination, some are now on a quest to find a way of further distorting it in order to plumb Add an Imagenew depths of absurdity. In this case, a homosexual man has “married” a heterosexual woman and they are calling it “art”; for all the meaning that it has, they might as well have called it a plate of egg and chips.

From here:

CREATIVE students proved that opposites really do attract when they took their wedding vows – and turned marriage into a work of art.

Nora Battenberg-Cartwright, aged 21, and Paul Cartwright, 20, married in Germany a few days after Christmas to show their commitment to each other – artistically.

However, while they are legally married, live together in the centre of Worcester and are very close friends, Mrs Battenberg-Cartwright is straight, and Mr Cartwright is gay.

The pair, both studying fine art at the University of Worcester, decided to make themselves into an artwork as part of their coursework they are undertaking in their second year.

They make sure they co-ordinate their outfits every day and also make their own clothes – including Mrs Battenberg-Cartwright’s gold wedding dress.

Man marries pillow

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Read the gory details here.

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True love can take many forms. In this case, it has taken the form of a Korean man falling in love with, and eventually marrying, a large pillow with a picture of a woman on it.

Lee Jin-gyu fell for his ‘dakimakura’ – a kind of large, huggable pillow from Japan, often with a picture of a popular anime character printed on the side.

In Lee’s case, his beloved pillow has an image of Fate Testarossa, from the ‘magical girl’ anime series Mahou Shoujo Lyrical Nanoha.

Now the 28-year-old otaku (a Japanese term that roughly translates to somewhere between ‘obsessive’ and ‘nerd’) has wed the pillow in a special ceremony, after fitting it out with a wedding dress for the service in front of a local priest. Their nuptials were eagerly chronicled by the local media.

‘He is completely obsessed with this pillow and takes it everywhere,’ said one friend.

‘They go out to the park or the funfair where it will go on all the rides with him. Then when he goes out to eat he takes it with him and it gets its own seat and its own meal,’ they added.

After a period of experiential pillow-talk, the Diocese of Huron has called for appropriate liturgies to bolster the love, mutual fidelity and support that Anglican pillows model every day for the church and wider community. A liturgical resource is approved for use in the Diocese of Huron. These celebrations are understood to be a pastoral response to pillow-sex in our communities. The rite is to be part of a Celebration of Holy Eucharist.  It is noted that there is to be no exchange of vows, no exchange of pillow-cases and no nuptial bedding.

I’m a lumberjack and I’m okay

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The only thing that will be more confused than this is the Anglican Church theological commission’s report on why it is perfectly normal:

Here come the brides… transvestite groom cuts the cake as ‘Susan’ after taking wedding vow as Add an ImageIan

With long blonde hair, flowing ivory wedding dress and proud smile, Susan looks every inch the blushing bride.

Only Susan is really Ian Platt, 51, who performed the incredible feat of being both the bride and groom at his own wedding.

The transvestite father-of-three appeased his future in-laws by sporting a conservative dark grey morning suit for the registry office ceremony.

But after tying the knot with fiancee Lisa, 42, in a traditional wedding he left to perform a quick costume change.

And by the time guests arrived at a hotel for the wedding reception Mr Platt had transformed himself into a radiant bride.

The 100 guests roared with approval as the two brides cut their two wedding cakes – one saying ‘Ian and Lisa’ and the other saying ‘Susan and Lisa.’

The newly weds also had their first dance as brides and gave speeches thanking family and friends before jointly throwing a bouquet of flowers over their heads towards guests.Add an Image

Mrs Platt, a mother-of-three, from Leeds, West Yorks, said: ‘Some people might not understand our relationship but it works perfectly for us.

‘I truly believe that people should be themselves and enjoy life, and that is what Ian, Susan and I do each and every day. There are three people in this marriage – Ian, Lisa and Susan – but I wouldn’t have it any other way.’

Mrs Platt said: ‘I met him as Ian first, he was really nice – he would always say he was quiet as Ian. Then he said I should meet Susan. I just thought it was brilliant. She was so confident and had the best legs I’d ever seen on a girl, let alone a man.

‘Ian said that when he was a boy he loved dressing up in women’s clothes and had gradually developed his alter ego – Susan.

‘She was confident and flamboyant and loved dolling herself up for a night on the transvestite scene in Leeds and going out with her transvestite girlfriends.’