Me: Your mother didn’t answer the phone, so I left a message

GD: She won’t get it; she doesn’t listen to her messages.

Me: Why not?

GD: Because normal people don’t use the phone to speak to people, they text.

Me: I didn’t know that. Are you getting together with the friend that you haven’t seen in a while?

GD: Yes.

Me: Will you speaking to her or texting?

GD: Don’t be silly, normal people speak when they are face to face.

Me: That’s a relief. Did you see the photo I posted on Facebook of Grandma while we were out by the river today?

GD: I don’t use Facebook. Why don’t you post it on Instagram like normal people.

Me: It got 8 likes!

GD: That’s sad.

Me: Why?

GD: Only 8 likes, that’s pathetic. The photo I posted of me shopping this afternoon has 70 likes.

Me: Grandma posted a picture of me, too; it got 9 likes.

GD: That’s because she has more followers not because people like photos of you.

Me: You’re probably right. What should I do to get more likes, then?

GD: It’s easy. Go to trendy clothes stores, buy something and post a photo of the bag.

Me: I buy my clothes at Value Village.

GD: Well, you need more followers. Follow trendy people and hope that they follow you back.

Me: I don’t know any trendy people. Even if I did, I’d pay not to have to listen to what they say, so why would I follow them?

GD: Grandpa, you’re hopeless. Say something about trendy people, then and use a hastag.

Me: Can I say something rude about them?

GD: Do you want to be sued again?

Me: #no

GD: Normal people say nice things about other people.

All this confirms what I’ve long suspected: #borninthewrongcentury.

I should point out that both of us were laughing our heads off throughout this exchange.