Making schools safe from the threat of paperclips

From here:

Federal regulators are hard at work making the world a safer place for kids — starting with the threat posed by toxic paper clips.

Never heard of a toxic paper clip? Neither have the manufacturers of science kits for classrooms across the country.

But they’re now locked in a debate with federal officials, who just moved a step closer to requiring costly new safety tests on the components of those kits.

Free from the worry of protecting children from lead-contaminated paper clips, educators will be able to concentrate on the main task of distributing condoms – which, of course, could, in extremis, also be used to contain any stray lead-contaminated paper clips that slipped though the otherwise impenetrable bureaucratic cracks.

This particular item was reported by Fox News so, naturally, it will only be believed by the gullible halfwits and lobotomized imbeciles that constitute Fox’s intended demographic. Sensible people will see it for what it is: a piece of mindless – possibly hate-spewing – right-wing propaganda conceived by the money-grubbing, entertainment obsessed hacks employed by this squalid little excuse for a news network.

2 thoughts on “Making schools safe from the threat of paperclips

  1. I understand there is going to be a representation of paper clips lobbying the government for their rights. All joined together in one long line.

  2. Sure, and add an elastic band and you now have a concealable weapon of terror. Have to ramp up the metal detectors at Upper Canada College

Leave a Reply