From here:

•  Lloyd George could not see a belt without hitting below it. (Margot Asquith)
•  [Benjamin Disraeli]  is a self-made man and worships his creator. (John Bright)
•   I only wish I knew [Bill Vander Zalm] before his lobotomy. (Kim Campbell)
•  [Stafford Cripps] has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire. (Winston Churchill)
•  Clement Attlee is a modest man, who has a good deal to be modest about. (Winston Churchill)
•  [William Gladstone] is a sophisticated rhetorician, inebriated with the exuberance of his verbosity. (Benjamin Disraeli)
•  In a disastrous fire in president Reagan’s library both books were burned. And the tragedy is he hadn’t finished colouring one. (Jonathan Hunt)
•   [Gerald Ford] is so dumb he can’t fart and chew gum at the same time. (Lyndon Baines Johnson)
•  He compresses the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know. (Abraham Lincoln)
•  When they circumcised Herbert Samuel they threw away the wrong bit. (David Lloyd George)

…  William Shakespeare –

•  His brain is as dry as the remaining biscuit after voyage. (As You Like It)
•  [You are] one that converses more with the buttock of the night than with the forehead of the morning. (Coriolanus)
•   God has given you one face and you make yourself another. (Hamlet)
•  What is this quintessence of dust? (Hamlet)
•   Thou whoreson zed! Thou unnecessary letter! (King Lear)
•   [You are] an index and prologue to the history of lust and foul thoughts. (Othello)
•  Ajax, that wears his brain on his belly and his guts in his head. He hath not so much brain as earwax. (Troilus and Cressida)

A few more random tidbits:

• He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others. – Samuel Johnson
• I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it. – March Twain
• Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go – Oscar Wilde
• He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends – Oscar Wilde

A lost art these days, I fear.