Just in time for Easter: a book claiming that Jesus was a shape-shifter

Not only that: Pontius Pilate attended the Last Supper and generously offered his own son as a sacrifice instead of Jesus. It will also come as no surprise that Judas betrayed Jesus with a kiss to forestall his shifting his appearance into someone else – John Cleese, for example.

The contortions to which people are prepared to subject themselves in order to avoid the straightforward truth of the Gospel never cease to amaze. In this case, the perpetrator of this anfractuous lucubration is an emeritus professor of the History of Christianity, whose only excuse must be  that his prolonged study of Gnosis and Western Esotericism has fatally eroded the natural resistance to gullibility with which the Creator endowed the rest of us at birth.

Perhaps I am being too hard on the good professor, since he was only the translator of the 1200 year old manuscript that makes these claims; nevertheless, he does seem to have a predilection for disseminating material that is patently absurd in its attempt to muddle Christianity.

From here:

A 1,200-year-old Egyptian manuscript tells the story of the crucifixion with incredible plot twists – including the revelation that Jesus could change shape.

The ancient illuminated text’s claim explains why Judas used a kiss to betray Jesus, since the Christian Messiah had the ability to transform his appearance.

It also claims Jesus in fact spent his last supper with the man who ordered his execution, Roman prefect Pontius Pilate, who is said to have offered to sacrifice his own son in Jesus’ place.

And it defies the official Easter timeline by putting the day of Jesus’ arrest on Tuesday evening, rather than the canonically agreed Thursday.

The translation from the original Coptic has been revealed for the first time in a new book by Roelof van den Broek, emeritus professor of the History of Christianity at Utrecht University in the Netherlands.

In the commonly-accepted Bible story it is claimed that the apostle Judas agrees to betray Jesus in exchange for cash, then kissed him to reveal his identity.

The newly-deciphered text explains that, far from a sign of affection or guilt, the kiss was Judas’ way of forestalling any shapeshifting confusion.

One thought on “Just in time for Easter: a book claiming that Jesus was a shape-shifter

  1. And no one has suggested that Judas and Jesus were in a gay relationship and this was just a passionate greeting?

    Oh wait, that’s coming in a sequel by some whacked out author.

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