In spite of all the excitement I am having with its bishop, the Diocese of Niagara is still mailing me a paper copy of the Niagara Anglican.
This is either a desperate bid to create the illusion of there being two more people on the diocesan membership roll that there actually are, or it’s an attempt to goad me into saying something else that could prove very expensive; I can’t decide which.
I am deeply glad nobody sends me stuff like that. I mean, I do IT for a living. That means people give me bullshitty waffle by way of requests, and I have to turn them into something that can resolve to a series of 1’s and 0’s, something really, really concrete. You develop an instinct for waffle, and an auto-translate into plain English mode. Just reading the front page of that activated mine.
They said: “Escarpment Church is an experimental and experiential form of worship in which we seek a closer relationship to the Creator by spending time in the midst of creation. It is a Fresh Expression of Church that involves walking, meditation and scripture”
I read: “‘Sillyname’ is something we haven’t done before (experimental), and a form of worship that you must be present for (experiential: unlike all the other forms of worship where you can be absent?!?), in which we want to get a feeling (how else do they measure “a closer relationship to the Creator”? With a blood-test?) by spending time somewhere (“in the midst of creation”: but that is everything: the only way to NOT spend time in the midst of creation is to die). It is part of another silly-named movement, and involves walking, meditation, and scripture.”
Too many words that mean nothing in there.
It’s called Anglo-babel… Hiltz invented it!
Sounds to me as though the name of the Diocese of Niagara should be changed to “the gnostic spiritualists of the environment”.
Does the newspaper have paid advertisements?
If so, like local throwaways, the circulation figures are what count, not the number of actual readers.