I have worked for large companies for over 40 years and during that time I have had the pleasure of listening to every cliché ever devised by the fevered imaginations of overpaid motivational consultants. I have participated in vacuous group discussions – run by oily management facilitators – to come up with Mission Statements; I have listened to seminars exhorting me to Pursue Excellence and have been indoctrinated on the techniques of inspiring commitment in others by pop-psychology spouting spalpeens wearing an excess of smelly underarm deodorant.

In the long and dismal succession of attempts to elevate my enthusiasm for making my employer more profitable, the only one that captured 30 seconds of my interest was a seminar by Tom Peters – the Pursuit of Excellence merchant. One of the directors in the company I worked for at the time was booked on a Peters’ seminar and couldn’t go; in desperation, he decided to inflict the unique learning experience on someone else – me. As expected, Tom Peters spent 4 hours expounding the obvious: for a company to do well, the people in charge have to like what they do. After a couple of hours of this, my self-induced somnambulant state was interrupted by the only interesting question I heard that day: if the solution to a successful company is so simple, why do companies not act on Peters’ advice – employ people who are interested in the work? The answer: the question was too hard. That was the only part I enjoyed.

So when I read things like this: The Status Quo is not an Option, Excellence in Ministry, Prophetic Justice Making, Cultures of Innovation, Effective Leadership, Life Changing Worshiping Experiences, Effective Resource Management, I know exactly what is going on.

We are hearing the death rattle of an organisation that no longer has any idea of what its purpose is, why it exists or what to do to extend its miserably short and squalid life. The organisation is the Diocese of Niagara.

Bishop Ralph Spence only put in an appearance at St. Hilda’s when he wanted money. His last social call was to scrape up support for the Anglican “Survive and Thrive” campaign.

The bishop, in the slightly lowered tones of someone revealing clandestine plans that others are not privy to,  confided to us that some of the money would be used to lay off priests who were no longer up to preaching the gospel to an online – although not yet tweeting – generation. We needed new blood and some of the old would have to be disposed of to make room for the new.

We were naively sympathetic to the plea since we were attempting to use liturgy and music in ways that could attract the un-churched while keeping the gospel message intact; we assumed the bishop’s intent was similar. At the time Ralph didn’t bother to share the plan that was undoubtedly fermenting in his mind: to appoint priests that would further the diocese’s liberal agenda and to remove those who would not. We are seeing the fruit of this labour in Ralph’s successor’s determination to forge ahead with same-sex blessings.

Today, an evangelical priest will not find employment in the Diocese of Niagara unless he first states his support for Michael Bird’s schemes to proceed with same-sex blessings; the diocese tells us that this is the epitome of diversity. The diocese is no stranger to the well tested technique, “tell a lie often enough, loud enough, and long enough, and people will believe you.”

This brings me to the Diocesan financial statement and budget, wherein you will see:

Personnel Transition and Severance (a diocesan euphemism for lay-off), 2008 actual of $660,178 and 2009 budget of $265,000. One wonders what the exit interviews are like: “Sorry to have to let you go, but you’ve been reciting the Creed too often on Sundays; here’s your money; keep your mouth shut”.

Also, there is a 2008 actual legal expenses of $30,717 and 2009 budgeted expense of $14,000. The diocese is attempting to relieve ANiC of over $200,000 to cover its lawyers’ costs in 2008; where are these lawyers’ costs reflected in the budget? Similarly, since the diocese is still unwilling to negotiate and eager to litigate, the $14,000 budget for 2009 appears a little meagre.

Could they be hiding these costs to pull the wool over the eyes of ACoC members who might otherwise be questioning why their offerings are being used to sue fellow Christians?