Not even from his comrades at the BBC:
The BBC has come under fire from groups for the hard of hearing for its increasing number of bizarre gaffes, which have included calling the Labour leader Ed Miller Band and the Church of England leader the arch bitch of Canterbury.
“We don’t allow faster-than-light neutrinos in here,” says the bartender.
A neutrino walks into a bar.
Why? Because you can’t have neutrinos getting kicked out of taverns they have not yet entered.
From here:
The world as we know it is on the brink of disintegration, on the verge of dissolution. No, I’m not talking about the collapse of the Euro, of international finance, of the Western economies, of the democratic future, of the unipolar moment, of the American dream, of French banks, of Greece as a going concern, of Europe as an idea, of Pax Americana.
I am talking about something far more important. Which is why it made only the back pages of your newspaper, if it made it at all. Scientists at CERN (the European high-energy physics consortium) have announced the discovery of a particle that can travel faster than light.
[….]
It means that the “standard model” of subatomic particles that stands at the centre of all modern physics is wrong.
Nor does it stop there. This will not just overthrow physics. Astronomy and cosmology measure time and distance in the universe on the assumption of light speed as the cosmic limit. Their foundations will shake as well.
Something to note about this is that, much as the new atheists would try to convince us that science is the only means of establishing the truth of something, in actual fact science never completely settles the truth of anything.
Science has never pretended to illuminate purpose, meaning or answer the question “why?” Worse than that, since new scientific theories on the mechanics of the universe frequently overturn all prior theories, the notion that it reveals the truth in any satisfactory way is also something of a pretention.
If science has never given a final answer to anything, there is no convincing reason to suppose it ever will. What it does do is produce a never ending stream of models that approximate the object of study to lesser or greater extents.
Whether it is insipid hyper-tolerance or maniacal political correctness that has led to removing “BC” and “AD” for fearing it will offend:
A BBC textbook about the life of Christ does not include a single reference to the terms BC and AD – because of fears they could offend non-Christians.
The BBC’s GCSE religious studies guide, which focuses exclusively on Christianity, instead uses the ‘religiously neutral’ terms Before Common Era (BCE) and Common Era (CE).
or removing a cross because it supposedly offends:
The mayor of Whiteville, Tenn. said his community is under attack from a national atheist organization that is threatening to sue unless they remove a cross atop the town’s water tower.
One thing is certain: the expunging of that which inspired the best in a civilisation’s morality, culture, art and laws will lead inexorably to the death of that civilisation.
From here:
A market trader has been banned from selling a ‘morale-boosting’ anti-Taliban T-shirt by council bosses who fear it will offend people.
The T-shirts, which feature the words ‘Taliban Hunting Club’ around a target set behind a skull and two guns, have become popular with soldiers on the front line as well as their relatives at home.
Who exactly is that going to offend? Oh, right, the Taliban; we wouldn’t want to do that – it might make them dislike us.
From here:
Police in the US state of Ohio are investigating a rare violent feud in the Amish community, in which members have had beards and hair shorn off.
Spiritual differences were said to be behind the attacks on more than a dozen men and women, said police.
I can see this trend spreading; for full inclusion, perhaps even to eyebrows.
The shrines to Princess Diana were bad enough but, such is the price of technological progress, now we have iShrines erected to Steve Jobs along with 
weeping women and sniffling men.
We do need heroes, of course, but we seem to have developed an uncanny knack for picking the wrong people: the day Diana died, Mother Teresa died; the day President Kennedy died, C. S. Lewis died. On October 5th, 2011, Steve Jobs died; so did Arthur Leroy Brooks of Stratford but he is ignored even though he didn’t fill the world with irritating mobile phones whose batteries can’t be changed unless you send them back to the factory.
I take for granted that the unholy conglomerate of Al Gore hawking global warming Ponzi schemes from the comfort of his private jets, climate change action kit empowered mainline churches, Kyoto protocol peddlers, along with other assorted gullible suckers and hangers-on are all irredeemably riddled with corruption; but I hadn’t realised things had become this bad:
Armed troops acting on behalf of a British carbon trading company backed by the World Bank burned houses to the ground and killed children to evict Ugandans from their homes in the name of seizing land to protect against “global warming,” a shocking illustration of how the climate change con is a barbarian form of neo-colonialism.
The evictions were ordered by New Forests Company, an outfit that seizes land in Africa to grow trees then sells the “carbon credits” on to transnational corporations. The company is backed by the World Bank and HSBC. Its Board of Directors includes HSBC Managing Director Sajjad Sabur, as well as other former Goldman Sachs investment bankers.
The company claims residents of Kicucula left in a “peaceful” and “voluntary” manner, and yet the people tell a story of terror and bloodshed.
Villagers told of how armed “security forces” stormed their village and torched houses, burning an eight-year-child to death as they threatened to murder anyone who resisted while beating others.
The seizure of arable land in the name of “global warming” is set to become big business, which is why the United Nations recently announced it is preparing to roll out an army of green helmeted “climate peacekeepers” to intervene in poorer countries to protect “shrinking resources”.
[….]
Transnational corporations, in league with western governments and offshore banks, have seized upon the climate change scam to carry out genocidal policies and land grabs in the pursuit of selling carbon credits to other transnational corporations who then merely pass on the cost to the consumer.
The NYT also reports on this here.
Those who guessed James Joyce’s Ulysses are probably correct, but the more relevant answer is…… The Bible.
I was delighted to discover that, since it explains much of what appears in the rag.
But, fear not! This summer, Stuart Mann decided to read all the New Testament; the newspaper is in danger of becoming unrecognisable.
From here (page 5):
This summer I decided to read the New Testament. I’ve read the gospels and Acts before but never Paul’s letters and the other epistles. This time would be different, I told myself. I would read it all the way through.
I read and pondered the gospels of Matthew, Mark and Luke. Then I decided to take a break. I knew Paul’s letters were coming up and I just couldn’t face them. Something about his letter to the Romans had always stopped me from reading further.
From here:
Scottish folk musician Bert Jansch, a founding member of the band Pentangle and a well-known guitarist in his own right, has died at the age of 67.
Jansch, who had cancer, passed away in the early hours of Wednesday morning at a hospice in Hampstead, north London.
Born in Glasgow in 1943, the musician recorded his first album in 1965 and his last, The Black Swan, in 2006.
Between 1967 and 1973 he was part of acoustic group Pentangle, best known for their 1970 hit single Light Flight.
John Renbourn, Jacqui McShee, Danny Thompson and Terry Cox were the other original members of the band, whose albums included Basket of Light and Solomon’s Seal.
Along with John Renbourn, Bert Jansch was the inspiration that diverted my attention away from what I should have been studying in university – mathematics and philosophy – into playing the guitar.
Here he is playing one of his ingenious arrangements, best known because it was filched by Led Zeppelin’s Jimmy Page:
Here’s another. Reynardine:
From here:
A sect worshipping Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin has started up in the village of Bolshaya Yelnia near the Volga.
The sect was founded by a woman calling herself Mother Fotina, and she teaches that Putin was St Paul in his past life, and is now together with seven other reborn apostles fighting the antichrists, Interfax reported.
“According to the Bible, Paul the Apostle was a military commander at first,” the sect’s founder told Sobesednik.
“In his days in the KGB, Putin also did some rather unrighteous things. But once he became president, he was imbued with the Holy Spirit, and just like the apostle, he started heading his flock,” she said.
Mother Fotima is evidently undeterred by minor difficulties such as the contradiction inherent in a Christian saint being reincarnated or that it would be difficult to find a less saint-like evil bastard than the extravagantly pompous egotist, Vadimir Putin – although that must have been before Vlad fell off his horse and saw the light.