Some things are so antithetical to the natural harmony of the universe that they threaten to loosen the cohesion of the space-time continuum, accelerate entropy and hasten the day when the universe will collapse once more into a singularity.
For example: shopping on Sundays; season’s greetings; Canadian politics; Mohamed Elmasry. And this from the Synod Office of the Diocese of Niagara:
This could only happen in the Anglican Church. From the Anglican Journal
Grannies take it off in support of HIV orphans
Calendar sales help African orphansMeet Ms. June, Jennifer Davis, one of 12 grandmothers who appear in the Quinte Grannies for Africa calendar. The Grandmothers to Grandmothers campaign will aid grandmothers in Africa. She wore this veil at her wedding on June 19, 1971 at Holy Trinity (Anglican) Church in Toronto.
Twelve grandmothers from the diocese of Ontario have taken off their clothes for a 2009 calendar to raise funds for the Grandmothers to Grandmothers campaign, which helps support African grandmothers who are taking care of their grandchildren orphaned by HIV-AIDS.
I know its succumbing to bribery, but I am willing to make a donation: if the cavorting naked grannies would put their clothes back on.
Forget about Winnie the Pooh, Narnia, and The Wind in the Willows, let’s confuse our children with The God Delusion instead.
From the lunatic’s guide to children’s literature here:
A book you hope parents will read to their kids: “The God Delusion” by Richard Dawkins. He is one of the intellectual heroes of our age.
From Here
Muslim is spared a speeding ban so he can drive between his two wives
When it comes to avoiding a ban for speeding, the courts hear every excuse in the book.
But yesterday one motorist offered what must be a unique reason why he should keep his licence.
Mohammed Anwar said a ban would make it difficult to commute between his two wives and fulfil his matrimonial duties.
His lawyer told a Scottish court the Muslim restaurant owner has one wife in Motherwell and another in Glasgow – he is allowed up to four under his religion – and sleeps with them on alternate nights.
He also needed his driving licence to run his restaurant in Falkirk, Stirlingshire.
Airdrie Sheriff Court had heard that Anwar was caught driving at 64mph in a 30mph zone in Glasgow, fast enough to qualify for instant disqualification.
Anwar admitted the offence, but Sheriff John C. Morris accepted his plea not to be banned and allowed him to keep his licence.
Instead, he was fined £200 and given six penalty points.
His lawyer, Paul Nicolson, said: “He realises his licence is at risk, but this is an unusual case and is very anxious to keep his driving licence.
“He has one wife in Motherwell and another in Glasgow and sleeps with one one night and stays with the other the next on an alternate basis.
“Without his driving licence he would be unable to do this on a regular basis.”
Now this all seems perfectly reasonable to me. In fact, I think the speeding laws should be modified thus:
1 wife: must drive at the speed limit
2 wives: allowed to drive 20 km/hour over the limit
3 wives: allowed to drive 30 km/hour over the limit
4 wives: allowed to drive 40 km/hour over the limit
5 wives and above: should be given a state supplied Aston Martin and allowed to drive at any speed.
Boy George, the shallow yet not pathologically stupid, musically interesting, 80’s 
precursor to much that has gone wrong subsequently androgyne had the dubious distinction of being named the best dressed man and the best dressed woman in the same year. When, in his youth, he was asked what he would look like in his 40’s, he said ‘ugly probably’. He was right.
From here:
Boy George chained up a male escort and beat him in a revenge attack, a court heard.
Audun Carlsen, 29, told how the former Culture Club singer pinned him to the floor of his bedroom, beat him up, swore at him, then handcuffed him to a hook next to his bed.
George produced a box of sex toys, chains and leather straps but the escort, originally from Norway, managed to pull his hand free and ran for the door.
From the National Post
Queen’s new ‘dialogue’ monitors.
Queen’s University in Kingston, Ont., has hired six students whose jobs as “dialogue facilitators” will involve intervening in conversations among students in dining halls and common rooms to encourage discussion of such social justice issues as race, ethnicity, gender, sexual orientation, ability and social class.“We are trained to interrupt behaviour in a non-blameful and non-judgmental manner, so it’s not like we’re pulling someone aside and reprimanding them about their behaviour. It is honestly trying to get to the root of what they’re trying to say – seeing if that can be said in a different manner.”
It is just one of many recent efforts to promote diversity – such as gender-neutral washrooms, prayer space, and halal and kosher food service – at a school that is still smarting from a report on systemic racism two years ago that criticized its “culture of whiteness.”
It is heartening to know that the future leaders of Canada will have been ‘dialogue facilitated’ before being released into polite society. For the rest of us who had to struggle through our educational years without the benefits of Ideological Police – what is a gender-neutral washroom?
They are such killjoys.
From Here
Church of England bans swinging, drinking vicar from practising
A female vicar who told colleagues that she went on swinging holidays in the South of France and who turned up drunk to church services has been banned from practising for 12 years by the Church of England.
The Rev Teresa Davies, from Daventry, Northamptonshire, was found guilty of inappropriate conduct at a tribunal in London yesterday.
Mrs Davies was said to have told two church colleagues at a Christmas lunch in 2006 that she and her husband had spent holidays without their children in the South of France, in an area that she said was noted for “the casual exchange of sexual partners”.
The tribunal also heard that Mrs Davies, 37, and her husband had posted under the name “Tess and Mick, Daventry” on swinging websites.
My dear Tess, you should have claimed to be out of touch with your inner lesbian and only got up to these naughty pranks to compensate; then you would have been fine.
Still, you can swing away for 12 years and then come back, it seems.
No? Then the Telegraph will enlighten you. The gullible Rev. Joanna, the vicar in question, is Anglican, naturally. 
The vicar starring in a new Channel Four reality show has accused the programme’s makers of deliberately making Christians appear obsessed with sex.
“There was clearly an agenda behind making the programme designed to make Christians look obsessed with people’s sex lives and intent on imposing Christian behaviour on everyone else,” she said. “Christian behaviour is only possible after a spiritual transformation. We were encouraged to take part on the understanding that we were dealing with a group of people who genuinely wanted to embrace Christianity. But that was clearly not the case.”
Making Anglicans appear obsessed with sex is hardly an innovation of Channel 4: the notion was clearly lifted straight from Lambeth.
One has to admit, though that the “intent on imposing Christian behaviour on everyone else” while a startlingly fresh idea, is one entirely foreign to Anglicans, who are even unwilling to impose Christian behaviour on themselves.
