{"id":6966,"date":"2010-01-05T16:58:55","date_gmt":"2010-01-05T21:58:55","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/anglicansamizdat.wordpress.com\/?p=6966"},"modified":"2010-01-05T16:58:55","modified_gmt":"2010-01-05T21:58:55","slug":"shooting-out-pebbles-onto-a-metal-target","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.anglicansamizdat.net\/wordpress\/shooting-out-pebbles-onto-a-metal-target\/","title":{"rendered":"Shooting out pebbles onto a metal target"},"content":{"rendered":"

But I bet you\u2019ll never guess<\/a> from where:<\/p>\n

One of the latest trends is “VUM-building,” which sounds like a doomed Soviet industrial project but is apparently a surefire way to get your man addicted to you. VUM stands for “Vaginally Used Muscles,” and a number of schools are offering courses in strengthening and toning the muscles using special equipment \u2014 a kind of gym for the vagina.<\/p>\n

\u201cOur exercise program can dramatically improve a woman’s sexual performance,” says Olga Nikitina, 40, the founder of the School for VUM-Building in central Moscow. “She can transform herself from a slow Russian car like a Lada into a Ferrari.” To disguise the fact that the equipment really does look like it belongs in a car-mechanic’s workshop \u2014 it’s all pressure gauges and rubber hoses \u2014 the school’s two rooms are painted pink and blue; stuffed animals model phallic devices.<\/p>\n

“Once a woman reaches optimal fitness, she can shoot a fountain of water up out of her vagina in the bath,” boasts Nikitina, a ponytailed blonde in a leopard-print top. The core device is a small silicone balloon that is inserted in the vagina and inflated with a pneumatic pump. “You squeeze against the balloon and measure the pressure on the attached gauges,” says Nikitina. Fine-tuning can be achieved by learning to shoot out pebbles onto a metal target.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

I was thinking of taking a trip to Russia this year: home of Tolstoy, Dostoevsky, Gogol and \u2013 flying pebbles. That\u2019s the trouble with women these days: they don\u2019t appreciate men for their minds; we have become mere play-things for over-exercised vaginas.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

But I bet you\u2019ll never guess from where: One of the latest trends is “VUM-building,” which sounds like a doomed Soviet industrial project but is apparently a surefire way to get your man addicted to you. VUM stands for “Vaginally … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"iawp_total_views":1,"footnotes":""},"categories":[288],"tags":[2249],"class_list":["post-6966","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-sex","tag-sex"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.anglicansamizdat.net\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6966","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.anglicansamizdat.net\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.anglicansamizdat.net\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.anglicansamizdat.net\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.anglicansamizdat.net\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6966"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.anglicansamizdat.net\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6966\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.anglicansamizdat.net\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6966"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.anglicansamizdat.net\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6966"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.anglicansamizdat.net\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6966"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}