{"id":5821,"date":"2009-09-28T10:04:45","date_gmt":"2009-09-28T14:04:45","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/anglicansamizdat.wordpress.com\/?p=5821"},"modified":"2009-09-28T10:04:45","modified_gmt":"2009-09-28T14:04:45","slug":"the-imission-statement","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.anglicansamizdat.net\/wordpress\/the-imission-statement\/","title":{"rendered":"The iMission statement"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Apple likes to boast that on the iPhone, there is an application for everything: there is even one that generates canned mission statements. The sample statements do evoke an eerie resonance with the various meaningless and vapid specimens I encountered in the companies I have worked for over the years. Here are some of the iMission statements:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>Our mission is to continue to appropriately foster strategic value while continuing to conveniently empower alternative data while striving for technical leadership.<\/p>\n<p>Our challenge is to authoritatively restore an expanded array of quality vectors in order to distinctively promote diverse testing procedures to stay competitive in tomorrow\u2019s world.<\/p>\n<p>It is our responsibility to intrinsically build leading-edge total linkage so that we may endeavour to synergistically streamline premium customer service for 100% customer satisfaction.<\/p>\n<p>We will conveniently pursue optimal synergy and also globally negotiate standards-compliant collaboration and idea sharing to meet our customer\u2019s needs. <em>[as an aside, I can\u2019t help noticing that the company that adopts this has only one customer; this is one more than the company deserves]<\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><em> <\/em><\/p>\n<p>And now I know where the Diocese of Niagara\u2019s Bishop Michael Bird obtained his vision statement:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>Prophetic social justice\u2010making; flourishing culture of innovation; outstanding leadership for ministry; effective resource management.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Apple likes to boast that on the iPhone, there is an application for everything: there is even one that generates canned mission statements. The sample statements do evoke an eerie resonance with the various meaningless and vapid specimens I encountered &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/www.anglicansamizdat.net\/wordpress\/the-imission-statement\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"iawp_total_views":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[110],"tags":[2111],"class_list":["post-5821","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-diocese-of-niagara","tag-diocese-of-niagara"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.anglicansamizdat.net\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5821","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.anglicansamizdat.net\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.anglicansamizdat.net\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.anglicansamizdat.net\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.anglicansamizdat.net\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5821"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.anglicansamizdat.net\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5821\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.anglicansamizdat.net\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5821"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.anglicansamizdat.net\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5821"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.anglicansamizdat.net\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5821"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}