The iCloud hack

From here:

Apple has admitted its iCloud service was to blame for the theft of hundreds of celebrity pictures.

The firm said it was ‘outraged’ by the attacks, and said they were the result of ‘a very targeted attack on user names, passwords and security questions’.

Various actresses have had au naturel photographs they recklessly posted to iCloud distributed all over the place. The actresses are, understandably, complaining bitterly: after all, they make a living out of being filmed taking their clothes off for the ogling pleasure of millions of paying customers. They didn’t make a penny out of the hacked iCloud photos; it’s heart-breaking.

Celebrities clarify the true significance of marriage

1965. Celebrity opinion on marriage: anti-marriage.

 

2011. Celebrity opinion on marriage: pro-marriage. Gay marriage, that is.

This is what is known as progress in the rarefied strata of celebrity intellectuals. Let no churlish cynic complain that it is too easy for celebrities to gain public attention by trotting out their vapid meanderings. Mrs. Gag-Gag (the spelling may be a bit off) says she is poised to become a minister of religion in furtherance of her cause. Now those are fighting words: eat your heart out Christopher Seitz.

We were out for a quiet stroll in the country and…..

_29U3926-3

All of a sudden, we were confronted with this:_29U3933A large mobile rocket isn’t something I usually encounter when ambling through a conservation area. We had accidentally wandered into a film-set for Nikita:_29U3934_29U3929

_29U3931

_29U3935I believe this is the young lady that plays the lead; I’m no expert but I think it may be pre-makeup:_29U3937

I asked what exactly the large rocket was for and was informed that it was there to repel zombies; I suspect this wasn’t entirely true – perhaps the crew didn’t want to reveal future episode secrets. I also asked it it worked and received a non-committal response. Still, the film crew all liked my dog, so they were OK with me.

We meandered through the set from one end to find a policeman, hired specially for the occasion to prevent intruders like us gaining access, at the other. On the way back he was reluctant to let us back through until we pointed out that we were parked at the opposite end of the conservation area so we had to go back to return to our car. Evidently there should have been two policemen.

He admonished us with: “you can’t go through there, they will be shooting – it will be too dangerous.” I replied: “surely they won’t be using real bullets.” He didn’t even smile. Clearly a man with no sense of humour; still, I am getting used to that.

A strange week

Scientists from the Austrian Academy of Sciences have grown miniature human brains from skin cells. The diminutive organs are providing a unique insight into how those equipped with pea sized brains –  Anglican Church of Canada bishops and atheists, for example – still manage to think.

One of the qualifications for being a Canadian politician seems to be to have smoked marijuana. A new study suggests that smoking marijuana as an adolescent may cause permanent brain damage; this explains the state of Canadian politics. Luckily a pea sized replacement may soon be available.

President Obama is considering bombing Syria for using gas against Syrian “rebels”, thereby hastening the takeover of Syria by rabid Islamists bent upon the destruction of the West. This is the same gas that, according to Andrew White the Vicar of Baghdad, was hastily moved from Iraq to Syria in 2003. So Obama is planning on attacking Syria for using WMDs that he believes don’t exist. Meanwhile, Donald Rumsfeld, an Iraq war hawk, is denouncing Obama for contemplating military action in Syria. Sometimes I long for the days when people were more predictable.

The Oxford English Dictionary has added a definition of “twerking” to its online (not print) version. It means to “dance to popular music in a sexually provocative manner involving thrusting hip movements and a low, squatting stance”; for those who, unlike me, wish to perfect the “dance”, there is an instructional video here. As I am sure everyone knows by now, the gyration – which is not unlike a manoeuvre my dog performs when his rectum is itching – has been rendered mainstream by Miley Cyrus, née Hannah Montana, the last hope of Western culture and someone my daughter-in-law really doesn’t want her daughter copying. Not to worry: by the time my granddaughter is a teenager there will be something worse to emulate.

While we are on the subject of dictionaries, my built-in Firefox dictionary has “Osama” in its database but not “Obama”. At least we know who is sinking into obscurity faster.