Another scandal strikes at the heart of the Church of England

I am almost starting to feel sorry for Archbishop Justin Welby.

Recently he has had to deal with a child abuse scandal in which his detractors suggested he could be implicated, the rejection by his clergy of a report on human sexuality written at great expense by his bishops – in reality, the average British schoolboy knows more about sex than any bishop and could have produced something similar for nothing – and has squandered countless carbon credits flying all over Africa trying to drum up support for his bishop’s opinions about sex – the ones his own clergy just rejected.

And now, we have the last straw, the coup de grâce, the final assault on Canterbury’s mission to reconcile refined, effete, public school cultivated homosexuality with the raw condemnations one unavoidably stumbles across in Scripture.

Someone has placed plastic furniture in a 12th Century Church.

Various theories have been suggested as to the reason for this clear act of sabotage. The most plausible is that by placing a by-product of the demon fossil fuel, oil, in a sacred space, Welby’s enemies are making a subtle reference to his time as an oil executive, thereby calling into question his credentials as a green bishop, a true devotee of Gaia, the fourth person of our 21st century augmented Trinity.

Kevin Sims, the person who first spotted this outrage, has his own explanation: it’s a deliberate attempt to create an aesthetic aberration. And, apparently, the change was made without going through the proper procedures. As he says: “that means effectively anyone could change anything”. Like marrying people of the same sex, for example. It’s a slippery slope.

From here:

A vicar faces an official complaint for installing a childrens’ plastic table and chairs in a 12th century church.

Rector Lynda Klimas introduced the pint-sized white furniture set as a way to keep young children entertained during services.

But a disgruntled churchgoer has made an official complaint as he feels it has no place in the “historically sensitive and sacred” Lady Chapel.

The matter will now be investigated and, if taken to a tribunal, Rev Kilmas could be given a “lifelong prohibition from exercising any ministerial functions”.

Kevin Sims, 67, who has been attending the St Mary the Virgin Church for 20 years, said: “I definitely do not feel the number of children warrants it. My main issues are for aesthetic reasons and reasons of demand.

“There are procedures in place that anyone who makes changes in church has to go through.

“My concern is that if nothing is done it means effectively anyone could change anything.”

Ex Dean of the Diocese of Montreal gives the Church of England the benefit of his insight

In 2011 Paul Kennington was installed as Dean of Christ Church Cathedral in the Diocese of Montreal. Kennington is in a same-sex civil partnership with Jonathan Bailey, so he would have had little difficulty blending in with the prevailing ethos of the diocese – he was imported from the UK since, presumably, there were no qualified gay Canadian applicants for the job.

Kennington has now returned to the UK, is a priest in “an inclusive” church in the Diocese of Chelmsford and is continuing what he sees as his calling to straighten – unstraighten, really – the church of England out on its antediluvian view of sex.

He does get one thing right. He says: “The bishops … really need to catch up with what the clergy are doing in the church”. There are many actively homosexual clergy in the Church of England. It’s time for the bishops to acknowledge the fact and either take disciplinary measures or admit that homosexual sex is permissible and ratify the pronouncement by approving same-sex marriages, giving the Church of England a head start in jostling with North American Anglicans for the first to be sucked into the vortex of extinction.

From here:

AN OPENLY gay priest has praised The Church of England’s clergy for throwing out a report that refuses to recognise same-sex marriages.

Father Paul Kennington, parish priest of St Andrew’s Church in Leytonstone, said the House of Clergy were “brave” to reject the report put together by the House of Bishops.

The church’s synod voted against the report that upholds marriage as a lifelong union between a man and a woman, at a general assembly on Wednesday, February 15.

Fr Kennington said: “As a gay man seeing your church talk about you as if you are an issue doesn’t feel good and I was delighted the report wasn’t taken note of.


The Anglican Church of Canada recognises same-sex marriage while the Anglican Church of England does not. It recognises same-sex relationships and civil partnerships.

Fr Kennington said: “I have been open about my relationship with Jonathan for 22 years while I was working in four parishes. This is not something new.

“The bishops have this idea that they are holding the church together but they really need to catch up with what the clergy are doing in the church.”

R.I.P. David Jenkins

Avian celebrations would be premature however, since this David Jenkins was the Bishop of Durham who cemented his credentials as an authentic Anglican bishop by denying the virgin birth and bodily resurrection of Jesus – among other things.

To distinguish between the two of us, a few years ago I wrote a song about Jesus’ resurrection called Risen Lord. Here it is, dedicated to the other David Jenkins:

Married homosexual clergy make their case in the Sunday Times

A number of Church of England married homosexual clergy and laity have written a letter to the House of Bishops in support of “the full inclusion of LGBTI people in the Church”. You can read the letter here.

It was also sent to the Sunday Times, making it more of a political machination than anything else, particularly coming hot on the heels of the announcement by the Bishop of Grantham that he is in a “gay relationship”, albeit a celibate one. What exactly is a celibate gay relationship? Two men who just cuddle in bed? I haven’t seen it explained anywhere.

Also lacking an explanation is how the bisexual element mentioned in the letter is to experience “full inclusion” since, for optimal satisfaction – and, let’s face it, that’s what this is all about – the Bs in the LGBTI huddle would need to marry two people, one of each sex.

What I find most interesting in the letter is the list of signatories. It comprises 50% clergy and 50% laity. I’m sure the overall ratio of clergy to laity is not one to one, so it seems apparent that the Anglican church has a disproportionate number of homosexual clergy in its otherwise rapidly shrinking ranks. The Anglican obsession with marrying people of the same sex is primarily one of clergy desperate to legitimise their unbiblical matrimonial arrangements.

Here is the list:

The Revd Andrew Foreshew-Cain and Stephen Foreshew-Cain
The Revd Richard Harris and Ricardo Goncalves.
The Revd Garry Lawson and Timothy H. Wane
The Revd Clive Larson and John Markham
The Revd Paul Collier and Mr Collier
The Revd Canon Jeremy Davis and Simon McEnery
The Revd Geoffrey Thompson and Tony Steeles
The Revd Prof Mark Cobb and Keith Arrowsmith
Jeremy Timm & Mike Brown
Ruth Wilde & Ellie Wilde
Jack Semple and Ross Griffiths
Paul Jellings and Andrew Carter
Erica Baker and Susan Strong
Karen and Samantha Bregazzi-Jones
Keith Barber and Tim Mills
Simon Dawson and David Mooney
In addition a further seven clergy couples and Readers have indicated their support for this letter whilst wishing to remain anonymous in order to protect themselves, and often their Bishops, from attack.

And so it begins. In the Church of England

From here:

A group of parishes is preparing what could be the first step towards a formal split in the Church of England over issues such as homosexuality, with the creation of a new “shadow synod” vowing to uphold traditional teaching.

Representatives of almost a dozen congregations in the Home Counties are due to gather in a church hall in Tunbridge Wells, Kent, later this week for the first session of what they say could eventually develop into an alternative Anglican church in England.

Organisers, drawn from the conservative evangelical wing of Anglicanism, say they have no immediate plans to break away – but are setting up the “embryonic” structures that could be used to do so if the established church moves further in what they see as a liberal direction.

The new alliance will be viewed as a “church within a church” but founders have not ruled out full separation if, for example, the Church of England offers blessing-style services for same-sex unions – a move expected to be considered by bishops in the next few months.

I have no doubt whatsoever that the Church of England will follow the lead of TEC and the ACoC. Western Anglicanism is in the grip of the dominant principalities and powers of our age and its submission to the rulers of the darkness of this world has been willing, defiant and full of pride – or should I say Pride. The outcome is inevitable.

The life of an ordinary Church of England vicar

It doesn’t usually include kicking police, drinking binges, bomb hoaxes, cannabis, fraud and criminal damage. But, in the case of Rev. Gareth Jones, it does.

Rev. Jones is the vicar (still, according to the website!) at St. Mary’s in Ilford, a parish that claims to be “A place of prayer, dialogue and hospitality” – unless you are a policeman. The parish is Anglo-Catholic, employing the usual trappings of incense, candles and an eastward facing priest at the altar – while he is able to stand, of course. No mention is made of the concentration of cannabis used in the thurible.

If Rev. Jones finds himself without a job – as surely he soon must – he could move to Canada and seek employment with the Anglican Church of Canada; if he pretends to be gay he is almost guaranteed a position.

From the BBC:

The Reverend Gareth Jones swore at officers and claimed he had diplomatic immunity from the Vatican when he was arrested two weeks ago.

A paramedic found him passed out on a street in central London.

Jones, who later said he was “deeply ashamed” about what happened, had drunk three bottles of wine, several pints of beer, gin and tonics and vodka.


As police intervened, the priest from St Mary’s Church in Ilford, east London, kicked an officer in the face, the court was told.

When asked which embassy would grant him diplomatic immunity, the priest said “the Vatican” and swore at officers.

Jones, who has previous convictions for a bomb hoax, affray, possession of cannabis, fraud, and criminal damage, now faces formal church disciplinary proceedings.

Church of England appoints its first nudist woman bishop

It was only last year that the CofE decided to allow women to become bishops and the first lady bishop was consecrated in January of this year. Next February, Karen Gorham will be the first nudist lady bishop in the CofE; if you are going to be relevant, you can’t have too many firsts, can you? I can see her turning up for the ordination complaining that she couldn’t find a thing to wear.

Even if Church of England clergy laboured tirelessly night and day, they really could not make themselves appear more ridiculous than they already do with no apparent effort at all.

From here:

The Church of England has appointed as Bishop of Sherborne a leading advocate of Christian nudism. On 26 Nov 2015 the Prime Minister’s Office announced the The Queen had approved the nomination of the Ven Karen Gorham, the Archdeacon of Buckingham, to the Suffragan See of Sherborne in the diocese of Salisbury in succession to the Rt Rev. Graham Kings.

The new Bishop of Sherborne, who will be consecrated in February at Westminster Abbey, has urged churches to educate their members on naturism, or nudism. “There is need for much education and openness to talk about issues of sexuality, to remove false taboos which we tend to have about our own bodies, and to define the differences between what is impure and what is godly and properly natural to us,” she wrote in “Naturism and Christianity: Are they compatible?”.

Rector on the run

From here:

A Church of England rector who went on the run as he was convicted of pocketing thousands of pounds of fees from funerals and weddings is now feared to have skipped the country, police have revealed.

Interpol is now assisting in the search for the Rev Simon Reynolds, the Rector of Farnham in Surrey amid signs that he has made his way to continental Europe.

Rev Reynolds – alias, Big Bad Desmond – is believed to be holed up in a convent posing as Sister Josephine:

Church of England brings back defrocking

For the last twelve years, there was nothing a Church of England vicar could do to earn expulsion from the priesthood. During that time, like naughty children, many vicars have worked diligently to see just how far they could go before provoking some kind of reaction from above. It seems that paedophilia is the tipping point – as of today, that is; paedophilia is already starting to be viewed as just another orientation, so, in a few years it may receive a generous pastoral response – and paedophile vicars are to lose their licences. In the spirit of diversity, atheist vicars, are still welcome.

From here:

The Church of England is to restore its traditional powers to defrock vicars who break the law, Church leaders said yesterday. (Sun)

The punishment of expulsion from the priesthood – abolished 12 years ago – is to be reinstated as a demonstration of the Archbishop of Canterbury’s determination to stamp out child abuse.

Restoration of the most severe penalty for clergy guilty of sex abuse or other crimes was revealed after the Most Reverend Justin Welby told a survivors group that the Church is ready to launch its own examination of the extent of child sex abuse by priests.

Church of England considering calling God “she”

Over the last ten years the Church of England has lost 4.5 million members whereas the number of Muslims in the UK has increased.

To stem the tide, the CofE is considering doing more of what has already prompted so many to depart: call God “she”:

“Most people think of God as a bearded man in the sky… probably white himself. This is not just a gender discussion,” says Rev Stowell.

“I think if [young people] are seeing people saying that God is not an old, white man in the sky and that God is inclusive of everybody, then that will interest people, especially if they’ve got the idea that Christianity is male, pale and stale.

“If we’re debunking that myth… of course that’s going to bring people to explore faith more.”

Muslims have no plans to similarly self-destruct by calling God “she” and, as yet, the CofE’s inclusivity does not extend to transgendering Satan – insofar as they still believe in her, of course.